As children enter those pre-teen years, it can often feel like they are pulling away and closing themselves off. They are going through an intense period of physical, emotional, and social changes. While this is a natural stage, it’s more important than ever to prioritize quality connection time with your pre-teen. Staying engaged and making them feel heard can have a big positive impact on their mental health and wellbeing.
Why Connection Matters for Pre-Teen Mental Health
The pre-teen and early teen years can be a tumultuous and confusing time. Young people are dealing with bodily changes, fluctuating emotions, evolving social dynamics, and increasing academic demands. It’s easy for stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues to take root during this transitional phase.Having a strong, supportive connection with parents and family can provide pre-teens with a vital sense of security, belonging, and self-worth as they navigate these challenges. Quality time connecting one-on-one allows you to listen to their thoughts and feelings, offer guidance and reassurance, and remind them of their value. This can help them build resilience and a healthy self-image.
Ideas for Connecting with Your Pre-Teen
With busy schedules and the lure of digital distractions, it takes intentional effort to create meaningful bonding moments. Try incorporating some of these ideas:
Schedule Regular One-on-One Time
Put a weekly or bi-weekly outing, just the two of you, on the calendar. It could be grabbing a meal, seeing a movie, going for a hike, or any activity you can enjoy together undisturbed.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Get them talking about their interests, experiences, dreams, and perspectives by asking questions that can’t be answered with a one-word response. Be an engaged listener.
Share Your Own Stories
Open up about your pre-teen struggles and how you dealt with challenges. This builds trust and shows you can relate to their experiences.
Do an Activity Together
Work on a puzzle, play a sport, cook a meal, or pursue a hobby you mutually enjoy. The shared experience and teamwork can strengthen your bond.
Put Down Devices
Make your connection time a device-free zone so you can be fully present with each other.
Praise Their Efforts
Notice and compliment the things they are working hard on, not just accomplishments. This nurtures their self-esteem.The pre-teen years are filled with ups and downs, but making your child feel loved, understood, and supported through quality bonding can have a lasting positive impact on their mental health journey. Small, consistent efforts to connect can make a big difference.