Cultivating a secure attachment with your child can help them to lead happier lives. It can also help with their overall emotional and mental health.
But, what does secure attachment actually look like? How can it really help the relationship between you and your child?
Let’s take a look at why bonding with your child effectively is so important, as well as what you can do to create that secure attachment. When you’re able to do that, you’re setting up an immensely positive impact on your child’s overall emotional well-being for the rest of their lives.
What Is Attachment Bond?
An attachment bond isn’t about what you do to care for your child. It’s not about feeding them the right things or going to the park with them.
While these things are important areas of parenting, an attachment bond refers to attunement and connection with your child. This is especially important when your child is an infant.
A secure attachment is just that—it helps your child to feel safe, secure and understood.
And when your child feels safe, they’ll be more eager to learn, trust, and be empathetic toward others. They’ll also likely be more self-aware.
Conversely, when your child doesn’t develop a secure attachment with you (or their primary caretaker), the opposite effect can take place. They might experience emotional or mental setbacks. They may also have difficulties forming relationships when they get older and be more untrusting.
How to Develop Secure Attachment with Your Child
For some parents, fostering a secure attachment will happen very naturally. Others may need to put in more work to ensure their child does feel safe, secure, and calm.
You don’t have to be a perfect parent to develop this bond. Again, it’s about tuning into your child’s needs.
The best thing you can do to foster this bond is to make sure your child realizes they’re understood, no matter their age. Tuning into your infant consistently when they cry lets them know you’re there and that they are safe. In turn, this gives them a sense of trust and predictability of their caregiver and in turn the world.
But, if you have an older child and you could use some work in strengthening your secure attachment, hope isn’t lost. Developing and strengthening this attachment can happen at almost any age.
A child’s brain is constantly growing and changing. So, it’s never too late to attune to your child and their needs and feelings—even if they’re already in their teens!
The Difference Of a Secure Attachment Bond
A secure attachment bond differs slightly from regular “bonding” with your child. It is less task-oriented and typically is responding to what your child is telling or verbally and non-verbally. It’s slower-paced and focuses more on the child’s connection with you, rather than your connection with the child.
When you’re developing secure attachment, you’ll also be more focused on the moment. A secure attachment lets your child know you’re here for them right now, and that’s all that matters.
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If you’d like to learn more about secure attachment or how to foster secure attachment with your child, feel free to contact us.
Remember, it’s never too late to nurture this kind of connection with your child, even if they’re older. But you must have the right resources to do it. One of the best things you can do is to attune to your child so they feel secure in their life.
